Holy cow, no really- you were like a whole cow.

While at the store I was given the opportunity to have this great conversation:


Them: Wow, hey! You look great!

Me: Thanks! You do too!

Them: You must be working out..

Me: Ya, a little, you know..

Them: I mean you look amazing, are you dieting too?

Me: Well I was, ya, now I'm just sort of...

Them: Well it worked, you have lost a TON of weight, holy cow.

Me: Thanks! I was trying, I feel good.

Them: I bet you do, you've lost so much weight, wow.

Me: Heh. Thanks again. Anyway..

Them: You're going to have to tell me what you did to lose all the weight, I mean you lost a ton.

Me: HOLY FUCKING SHIT I GET IT! I WAS A HUGE FUCKING COW AND NOW I AM NOT. I GET IT. COULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT ALREADY BEFORE I EAT YOU, SERIOUSLY!

/stab