I'm sorry Jane.

Jane is a pen name.  Another thing I use to hide behind when I'm supposed to be facing the world.  She provides a layer, a mask, a sense of secrecy in an already anonymous venue.

Jane is just like me, only she isn't.   I love everything about her, and yet everything about her is what I use her to hide about myself.  She's an imaginary friend who's everything you ever wanted to have the courage to be, the friend who never judges you or expects more than you have to give, the friend who catches you when you fall, and loves you just the way you are.  And secretly- through all the love and friendship you hate her for it. You hate her for being her and you for being you.


That's my Jane.

Jane is a way to purge myself of guilt, share my darkest secrets with no consequence and tell jokes without risking being humiliated in no one laughs.   She's all about dodging accountability and explaining nothing to no one.

You see...

Jane does not care what people think, or say, or who they will tell, or what they will do.
Jane does not mind if no one laughs when she makes a joke, or if no one thinks she's charming.
Jane does not get  insecure, she does ever lack confidence,  she does not hesitate.
Jane does not carry any burdens; no baggage, nothing to lose.
Jane does not care if she is alone, or wanted, or needed.

So I use her.

I use her because in the end,
even if Jane Doesnot, I do.